Is this dichotomy useful anymore?
I love how you described all of this.
I also notice when I talk about being trauma-informed in work spaces there's so much of "but what do we do" rather than "how can we be".
I am definitely in the boat where I felt like I was denied play as a child. It's a large part I never wanted kids. I thought that once I was all "grown up", I could do whatever I want lolsob. Play is something that comes naturally to me when I'm WITH someone playful, but doing it on my own can bring about a lot of hypervigilance. It has taken a lot of intentionality to sit with those sensations and engage in play in a non-structured day.
I'd like to think I'm more playful than I make myself out to be, and that give me and my Virgo sun a lot of solace :)